Infidelity Issues and the Therapeudic approaches

Infidelity can be a traumatic experience, and it’s normal to feel a range of negative emotions such as anger, sadness, and betrayal. Here are some effective measures that can help you cope with these emotions:

1. Acknowledge your feelings: It’s important to recognize and accept your emotions. Don’t try to suppress or ignore them, as this can lead to more problems in the long run.

2. Communicate with your partner: If you decide to stay in the relationship, it’s important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings. This can help rebuild trust and strengthen your relationship.

3. Seek professional help: Consider seeking the help of a qualified mental health professional who can provide you with the support and guidance you need. They can help you work through your emotions and develop coping strategies.

4. Practice self-care: Take care of yourself by engaging in activities that make you feel good, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones.

5. Set boundaries: It’s important to set boundaries with your partner to protect yourself from further hurt. This may include setting limits on communication or taking a break from the relationship.

Remember that healing takes time, and it’s important to be patient and kind to yourself throughout the process.

Statistics Relative to Infidelity

According to a source namely Today, (Today, n.d.) approximately 20% of men and 13% of women report having had sex with someone other than their spouse while married. At Spirit (Spirit, n.d.) its suggests that “about 40% of unmarried relationships and 25% of marriages see at least one incident of infidelity.”

Infidelity can have lasting impacts on both the perpetrator and the partner cheated upon. An article in Psychcentral (psychcentral, n.d.)suggests that infidelity can result in grief, brain changes, behaviours down the road, and mental health conditions such as anxiety, chronic stress, and depression. The same source also notes that some families have been able to move past infidelity with time and therapy.

At Relationship Australia (Australia, n.d.) it has been reported that two-thirds of men and women reported that the partner of the unfaithful person was the most affected by infidelity, while a further one-quarter of men and one-fifth of women reported that the couple’s child or children were the most affected by infidelity.

Likely Outcome of Infidelity

According to an article in Best Life, (Life, n.d.) only 15.6% of couples who experienced infidelity were able to survive the break of trust. Another source at infographics (Infographics, n.d.) suggests that approximately 70% of marriages that experience infidelity survive.

Infidelity can have long-term effects on partners and children the couple may have. At Psych Central (Central, n.d.)suggests that infidelity can result in grief, brain changes, behaviours down the road, and mental health conditions such as anxiety, chronic stress, and depression.

It has been (therapy, n.d.) reported that common effects of infidelity are:

  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Anger issues
  • Self-loathing
  • Low self-esteem
  • Hysterical bonding

The Impact of Different Forms of Infidelity on Partners

As therapy practitioners, it’s imperative to understand that infidelity can manifest in various forms, each with its unique impact on the betrayed partner’s emotional and psychological well-being. Let’s delve deeper into these different forms of infidelity and their potential effects:

1. Emotional Infidelity:

  • Definition: Emotional infidelity occurs when one partner forms a deep, emotional connection with someone outside the relationship, often characterized by sharing intimate thoughts and feelings.
  • Effects on the Partner: Trust Issues: Emotional infidelity can shatter trust within the relationship. The betrayed partner may find it challenging to trust their partner again, even if there was no physical involvement Insecurity: Feelings of inadequacy and insecurity can emerge as the betrayed partner may wonder why their partner sought emotional intimacy elsewhere. Jealousy and Obsession: The betrayed partner might become overly jealous or obsessed with the partner’s interactions, leading to emotional distress.

2. Physical Infidelity:

  • Definition: Physical infidelity involves engaging in sexual activities with someone other than one’s partner.
  • Effects on the Partner: Betrayal and Hurt: The immediate impact often include feelings of betrayal, shock, and intense emotional pain. Sexual Health Concerns: Physical infidelity can introduce concerns about sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and, as a result, trigger anxiety and distress. Loss of Self-Esteem: The betrayed partner may experience a significant blow to their self-esteem and self-worth, questioning their attractiveness and desirability.

3. Cyber Infidelity:

  • Definition: Cyber infidelity involves engaging in secretive online relationships or explicit online activities with someone outside the relationship.
  • Effects on the Partner: Invasion of Privacy: Cyber infidelity often includes secretive behaviour and breach of trust, leading to a sense of invasion of privacy for the betrayed partner. Emotional Distress: Discovering online interactions can lead to significant emotional distress, with feelings of betrayal and anger. Comparison and Inadequacy: The betrayed partner might compare themselves unfavourably to the online connection, leading to feelings of inadequacy.

4. Financial Infidelity:

  • Definition: Financial infidelity involves hidden financial transactions or deceit regarding financial matters within the relationship.
  • Effects on the Partner: Betrayal of Trust: Like other forms of infidelity, financial infidelity results in the betrayal of trust, which can erode the foundation of the relationship. Financial Stress: The financial consequences of the deception can lead to financial stress, exacerbating emotional distress. Loss of Control: The betrayed partner may feel that they’ve lost control over their financial well-being and future.

5. Micro-Cheating:

  • Definition: Micro-cheating consists of seemingly minor actions or behaviours that, when combined, suggest emotional or physical infidelity.
  • Effects on the Partner: Heightened Sensitivity: The betrayed partner may become hypersensitive to their partner’s behaviours, interpreting innocent actions as signs of infidelity. Distrust: A sense of distrust can permeate the relationship, potentially causing conflicts and strained communication. Anxiety and Insecurity: Micro-cheating can fuel anxiety and insecurity, as the betrayed partner constantly questions their partner’s intentions.

Considerations if a partner decides to end the association

Now, let’s delve into the losses and tribulations associated with terminating a marriage or partnership from a legal perspective, encompassing aspects like children, finances, property, emotions, and stress.

Financial considerations are inevitable when ending a relationship. The legal intricacies of asset and property division post-breakdown can be stressful. Typically, property is equitably divided after separation, regardless of whose name it’s in, or even if one partner earns less or nothing at all. Legal expenses, asset division, alimony, and child support are potential financial burdens to contend with.

When children are involved, the situation becomes even more complex. Children often grapple with a array of emotions, such as sadness, anger, confusion, and anxiety. Prioritizing their well-being is paramount, necessitating a loving and supportive environment, while minimizing conflict between parents.

Emotional stress is a common byproduct of such situations. It is crucial to practice self-care to manage these emotions, through activities like exercise, meditation, or leaning on your support network of friends and family.

Ultimately, healing from a breakup is a personal journey, and it is both prudent and acceptable to proceed at your own pace. If you find yourself overwhelmed or uncertain about the path ahead, consider seeking guidance and support from a professional including your counsellor, legal person and or therapist.

For more detailed information, you can explore the provided resources, including government websites and legal experts, who can provide specific guidance tailored to your circumstances.

  • 1. The duration of the divorce process can vary based on individual circumstances, but it typically takes many months to sometimes years complete.
  • 2. A parenting plan outlines how separated or divorced parents will care for and make decisions regarding their children. You can create one through negotiation or mediation, and it’s important for addressing children’s needs post-separation.
  • 3. Coping with emotional stress after a breakup is a common challenge.

As for additional inquiries:

Save the marriage

According to an article by Psychology Today, (Sills, 2021) many relationships are worth saving, despite infidelity, but the restoration of trust is paramount. In fact, some couples may develop more vulnerability and intimacy than ever after working through the trauma of infidelity.

Here are some reasons why couples may choose to work through infidelity and save their relationship:

Love: If you still love your partner and believe that your relationship is worth fighting for, then it may be worth considering working through the issues together.

Children: If you have children together, then it’s important to consider their well-being when making decisions about your relationship. Children may experience a range of emotions such as sadness, anger, confusion, and anxiety during this time.

Investment: If you have invested a significant amount of time and effort into your relationship, then it may be worth trying to work through the issues together.

Commitment: If you are committed to your partner and believe that they are committed to you, then it may be worth trying to rebuild trust and repair your relationship.

Personal growth: Working through infidelity can be a challenging experience, but it can also be an opportunity for personal growth and self-reflection. By confronting difficult emotions and working through them with your partner, you may develop a deeper understanding of yourself and your relationship.

Every relationship is unique, and what works for one couple may not work for another. It’s important to take the time to reflect on your own needs and feelings before making any decisions about your relationship.

How is Hypnotherapy used in helping people overcome infidelity?

Hypnotherapy can be an effective treatment for individuals battling with emotional issues following infidelity. Hypnotherapy can help individuals identify and address the root causes of their negative emotions, such as feelings of betrayal, anger, and sadness. By addressing these underlying issues, hypnotherapy can help individuals develop a more positive outlook and improve their overall well-being.

Ego State Therapy is a type of hypnotherapy that can be effective in helping individuals overcome negative emotions following infidelity. Ego State Therapy can help individuals identify and work through the different parts of themselves that may be contributing to their negative emotions. By addressing these different parts, individuals can develop a more integrated sense of self and improve their overall well-being.

Ericksonian hypnosis is another type of hypnotherapy that can be effective in helping individuals overcome negative emotions following infidelity. Ericksonian hypnosis emphasizes indirect communication, storytelling, and metaphorical language to engage the subconscious mind and bypass the conscious resistance often associated with traditional hypnosis. This approach can help individuals reframe their thoughts and beliefs about the situation and develop a more positive outlook.

Dave Elman’s approach to hypnosis is another technique that can be effective in helping individuals overcome negative emotions following infidelity., Elman’s approach emphasizes the importance of using language and suggestion to help the subject enter into a hypnotic state and to make positive changes in their behaviour or thinking.

Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) is a therapeutic approach that focuses on the connection between the neurological processes of the brain, language, and behaviour. NLP can be used to help individuals overcome negative emotions and develop more positive patterns of thinking and behaviour. By identifying and changing negative thought patterns, individuals can improve their overall well-being and reduce their risk of developing mental health conditions such as anxiety and depression.

It’s important to note that every individual is unique, and the effectiveness of these approaches may vary depending on the individual’s specific needs and circumstances. Seeking professional help from a qualified mental health professional who specializes in hypnotherapy is crucial.


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